If you’re like me, getting invited to a wedding is feels like good news and bad news. The good news: “Yay, my friends are getting married. Plus, a reason to dance, drink, and eat.” Bad news: “My bank balance will hate me.”

Letting finances control how much fun you have is never comfortable. That’s why we’ve put together this wedding guest guide to help you set your budget.

Wedding party costs

Being a bridesmaid or groomsman is an expensive honor. Here are some additional costs you’ll need to budget for.

Bachelor/Bachelorette party

• Travel
• Accommodations
• Decorations
• Activities

The Ceremony

• Dress/Suit or Tux rental
• Outfit alterations
• Accessories/Shoes
• Haircut/makeup
• Clothing for rehearsal dinner

Couples' Shower

Engagement Party

Bridal Shower

If there is flexibility in the bride or grooms tastes, look for a suit or dress that you will wear again. When planning a bachelor or bachelorette party, pick one night to have a high-end meal, but then consider cooking at home. Eating at home usually means you’ll do some of the drinking at home, and that can be a huge cost. When making reservations, let the venues know the occasion – sometimes they offer discounts or free extras for the group.

Since it’s tradition to cover the costs of the groom or bride at their respective parties, be open with the other party planners about your budget. You might feel embarrassed about bringing up money, so say “I just want to make sure everyone is comfortable with the costs associated with the party…” Chances are, it was a topic on their mind and they’ll be grateful you brought it up.

Travel Costs

A destination wedding sounds fun, but it does put an added burden on the guests. If you have to travel, make sure you consider the following costs:

• Airfare
• Car rental
• Hotels
• Baggage fees
• Taxi
• Tips and gratuity
• Parking
• Dining out 

Find out who else is attending the wedding and see if you can split costs. Skipping the hotel and finding a house through sites like Airbnb can make this even more cost effective.

Be sure to clear out your browsing history before you search flights — sometimes they will raise prices just because you’ve visited them before. If you have any flexibility in your travel schedule, make sure to toggle that option on the site.

Don’t forget to call your bank and let them know you’ll be traveling. Nothing is worse than having issues with a credit or debit card while out of town! 

Make a packing list

One of the best ways to save is to make sure you bring everything you’ll need. Buying toiletries and other small items can add up quickly. Create a checklist and triple check it before you hit the road. Do you need:

• Electronic device chargers
• Toiletries
• Outfit for the wedding
• Nice outfit for more formal gatherings
• Comfortable clothing for down time
• Medicine

Travel restrictions can make bringing all the creature comforts more difficult. A good practice is to refill travel sized bottles. Yes, even toothpaste.

How much should you spend on a wedding present?

Ah, the time you have to put a dollar amount on your friendship. This can be an awkward question to consider. Here are some general rules:

• Coworker — $50 to $75
• Friend — $75 to $100
• Close relative or friend — $100 to $150

Your presence at the ceremony is a gift, honestly, so if you’ve had to go spend a lot on travel it is okay to scale back. If you have a talent or skill offer that in place of a gift. The couple is usually looking to save money, too.

Another money saving idea is to go in with other guests on a big-ticket item. Also, don’t forget to cash look for coupons or cash in on credit reward points.

Best way to save

You can cut costs in each of these areas, but you’ll still need to have saved some cash. Like most things, the least painful way is to do it a little bit at a time. Create a special savings account and have a small percentage of every paycheck move over automatically. Don’t touch the funds in this account unless it is for a wedding. Personally, I combine this with my Christmas / Birthday gift fund.

Bonus: Wedding etiquette

You were invited to the wedding because you’re a good friend, so make sure you live up to that during the stressful planning phase. Here are some tips that should make you the happy couple's favorite guest:

• RSVP ASAP

• Don’t bring a date unless told you can

• Send cards thanking congratulating the couple and thanking them for including you

• Offer to help plan or assist with DIY project

• Don’t drink too much or offer unrequested toasts